Young men experiment gay sex. Young Boys experiment.



Young men experiment gay sex

Young men experiment gay sex

I think it's very uncommon. I have no data to back this up though. I would be surprised to hear anybody say that they did this as a child without having some curiosity or impulse towards the same sex. I imagine that if you have these interactions as a child, you are naturally attracted to this type of relationship. So the seeming commonality among the gay-friendly buddies is probably more of a fact that they are more open about these sorts of things.

I would have guessed that something like that, particularly once you made it to puberty, would be very uncommon, but that might just be because it's natural to assume that everybody else had roughly your same experiences. He's been married for about 25 years, and has 3 children. I'm always amazed at how some of my friends attitudes alter when they get drunk. It's amazing what they tell you. Stuff they'd never admit to in the light of day when they're stone cold sober.

Here in the UK, a common report from those educated at boarding schools is that they experiment as children. This may be why you were more prone to it. In my Liverpool working class neighbourhood can remember knowing what it meant to be gay from the age of about ten though we called them 'homs' in those days and knowing that it was a bad thing to be. To the extent that somebody a couple of streets away had had painted on the side of their house 'David Jones is a hom'.

I think you're much less likely to experiment if you think there's a chance you'll get outed as a sexual deviant in front of your whole neighbourhood. However, any time I've talked about this with friends before we've all come to the consensus that that statement is complete bullshit.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but the answer is probably "no, most kids don't do that. My unschooled, heterofemale opinion: And no, my sleepovers weren't like that. I'm gay and I never experimented with my friends like that. This so isn't fair. That said, it sounds like you're trying to prove something by polling for anecdotes.

Which is fine, for party conversation fodder, but don't take any conclusions you form too seriously, ok? Anecdotes are not evidence. As Pete points out, something as simple as regional variation could have an enormous impact on this. I had my first crush on a boy.. I don't identify as gay My sexuality has always been a very very fluid thing.

I don't know if it's a result of the experimentation or not, though. I actually asked a psychologist for you. Also see the Kinsey Scale. I'm from the UK and went to large, all-male boarding schools from 7 through to There were only stories about a very few guys experimenting with each other i.

Like the original questioner, I've asked old friends whether there was more gay experimenting going on, because I was curious that the reality I experienced was nothing like their reputation. These friends had found the same thing as me -- they really didn't believe that experimenting was that common, and tended to bring up the same two or three names.

And remember, kids, the plural of anecdoate isn't data. I'm gay and never experimented as a kid. However, of my four closest straight male friends, ALL of them fooled around with guys between the ages of I'd always thought it was very common, and I never did it just because I'm shy. In studies from the 70's it was discovered that a large majority of all men experimented in some form at at least one point in their life.

Studies since then have showed a decline, although I don't know enough about those to say for sure whether I trust them.

It is, suffice to say, VERY common. The difficulty in researching this effectively is that many men will deny it even in a clinical setting. And they sure as hell will deny it when put on the spot by a friend. The stigma and shame most guys feel as a result of sexual confusion, or from realizing later in life that something they did in the past would make them vulnerable to ridicule, keeps them from telling anyone.

Or in some cases, from even remembering. There is no way to get your friends to admit whether they had this kind of experience. Maybe they really didn't. Suffice to say though, that it is still pretty common and it's just something that men don't talk about.

Also, a few female friends have told me about boyfriends who experimented with other men in their high school or college years. When their boyfriends became ex's, one went on to become another man's man. The other two continued to date women. Suffice to say that within a few months of turning eighteen, however, I made up for lost time. Most guys I know though, gay or straight, have acknowledged some form of experimentation at a young age.

There were only stories about a very few guys experimenting with each other Bearing in mind how repressed people are about sexuality, I'm sure that those who did experiment didn't go out and have t-shirts made exclaiming the fact. I also want to point out that people might not be aware that they actually experimented. A quick fiddle around after lights-out might be seen by some as something innocent and forgettable.

Indeed, it probably is, but this questioner wants to know how common it was! You're right that anecdotes don't make for data, but I stand-by what I said. I identify as gay, but definitely in the age range I messed around with a lot of boys who now identify honestly, I think, in almost all cases as straight. And as pointed out above, many studies bear this out. I think that a lot of people here are basing their assumptions on skewed samples, but speaking for myself and my friends I can say that no one I know has ever done anything like this.

Nothing like this ever happened to me. I'd say about a third of my relatively small collection of ex-boyfriends mentioned having a tale like this in their past. Degree of anguish, shame, and disturbance about it in the present depended on their current degree of self-acceptance and confidence about their sexuality. It seems to be less common among pre-adolescent girls- I had one episode of playing house with a girl cousin when I was 5 or 6, but while it had sexual overtones neither of us knew enough about sex for it to involve explicit physical contact.

Um, that's sort of fallacial conclusion to draw, isn't it? Everyone played doctors and nurses, right? I did, she didn't! Like maybe boys wrestling being just a tad more than a fun game or gay thoughts maybe having a little crush on a friend without even realizing that's what it was vs. I'd say that the first type of action is probably far more common than most people would think. If a gay act only lasts a moment or two, most people will end up forgetting about it or dismissing it entirely later on in life.

As for non-oblique gay acts, not everyone is sexually adventurous enough to try that kind of thing. For mutual masturbation, I don't think you just start doing it; you need to work your way up to it. Perhaps by the subject matter, perhaps just over a long period of mutual trust and feelings for each other.

Speaking for myself, my two best friends both moved away during that age and I didn't really make new friends for several years after that. I never had a truly close enough friend where that kind of thing had any possibility of occurring. And even then I doubt it'd happen because I'm shy and I'd probably steer the conversation away from any topic where anything more would happen.

Lastly, I think from the tone of your post you are of the opinion that doing that kind of thing may have helped you identify primarily as gay. I think the other way to look at it is, you've almost always been primarily gay and you gave very subtle signs that you may not have been completely aware of. So while you may not have initiated the acts, you probably behaved in a way that helped let those acts occur.

I had a partner who didn't tell me about pubescent his same-sex experimentation until we'd been together a very long time. I too think it's more common that you'd imagine. That said, I'm a woman and I don't recall fooling around with my girlfriends. In the s as a teenager, I was the "experiment" for a couple of friends who now live heterosexual lives.

It was great, certainly for me. At least one friend says it was great for him too. For that matter, I had "experiments" with girls, too. I have a theory that as gay people get more accepted in US society the notion of "gay" vs "straight" as a specific identity is becoming a bigger deal to adolescents.

So in the past where it could just be some horny boys experimenting together with no real consequence, now it's wrapped up more in complicated questions of identity and social position. Kind of a shame, really. Gays and gay issues are highly visible in the media and in entertainment, way more so than even ten or fifteen years ago. Teens and even pre-teens now have a really strong sense of what "gay" or "bi" means, definitely way more than those a generation ago did.

When I was 13, if something like this had happened between me and a friend, it would have been undefinable and mysterious. Now, they have to mentally weigh any experimentation against the sexual identity they are trying to construct or project, whereas before young people were able mess around with far murkier concepts of sex or sexual identity. I don't think it takes more than curiosity or horniness no matter what a boy's "wiring" is. The trick with guys who are going through puberty is that erections just happen, apropos to nothing.

So two guys hanging out, doing not much, suddenly one of them has an erection. And depending on whether this is seen as silly or embarassing or a total non-issue, it's really not that great a leap to anything that might follow.

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Young men experiment gay sex

I think it's very uncommon. I have no data to back this up though. I would be surprised to hear anybody say that they did this as a child without having some curiosity or impulse towards the same sex.

I imagine that if you have these interactions as a child, you are naturally attracted to this type of relationship. So the seeming commonality among the gay-friendly buddies is probably more of a fact that they are more open about these sorts of things. I would have guessed that something like that, particularly once you made it to puberty, would be very uncommon, but that might just be because it's natural to assume that everybody else had roughly your same experiences.

He's been married for about 25 years, and has 3 children. I'm always amazed at how some of my friends attitudes alter when they get drunk. It's amazing what they tell you. Stuff they'd never admit to in the light of day when they're stone cold sober.

Here in the UK, a common report from those educated at boarding schools is that they experiment as children. This may be why you were more prone to it. In my Liverpool working class neighbourhood can remember knowing what it meant to be gay from the age of about ten though we called them 'homs' in those days and knowing that it was a bad thing to be.

To the extent that somebody a couple of streets away had had painted on the side of their house 'David Jones is a hom'. I think you're much less likely to experiment if you think there's a chance you'll get outed as a sexual deviant in front of your whole neighbourhood.

However, any time I've talked about this with friends before we've all come to the consensus that that statement is complete bullshit. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but the answer is probably "no, most kids don't do that. My unschooled, heterofemale opinion: And no, my sleepovers weren't like that. I'm gay and I never experimented with my friends like that.

This so isn't fair. That said, it sounds like you're trying to prove something by polling for anecdotes. Which is fine, for party conversation fodder, but don't take any conclusions you form too seriously, ok? Anecdotes are not evidence. As Pete points out, something as simple as regional variation could have an enormous impact on this. I had my first crush on a boy.. I don't identify as gay My sexuality has always been a very very fluid thing.

I don't know if it's a result of the experimentation or not, though. I actually asked a psychologist for you. Also see the Kinsey Scale. I'm from the UK and went to large, all-male boarding schools from 7 through to There were only stories about a very few guys experimenting with each other i. Like the original questioner, I've asked old friends whether there was more gay experimenting going on, because I was curious that the reality I experienced was nothing like their reputation.

These friends had found the same thing as me -- they really didn't believe that experimenting was that common, and tended to bring up the same two or three names.

And remember, kids, the plural of anecdoate isn't data. I'm gay and never experimented as a kid. However, of my four closest straight male friends, ALL of them fooled around with guys between the ages of I'd always thought it was very common, and I never did it just because I'm shy. In studies from the 70's it was discovered that a large majority of all men experimented in some form at at least one point in their life.

Studies since then have showed a decline, although I don't know enough about those to say for sure whether I trust them. It is, suffice to say, VERY common. The difficulty in researching this effectively is that many men will deny it even in a clinical setting. And they sure as hell will deny it when put on the spot by a friend.

The stigma and shame most guys feel as a result of sexual confusion, or from realizing later in life that something they did in the past would make them vulnerable to ridicule, keeps them from telling anyone. Or in some cases, from even remembering. There is no way to get your friends to admit whether they had this kind of experience.

Maybe they really didn't. Suffice to say though, that it is still pretty common and it's just something that men don't talk about. Also, a few female friends have told me about boyfriends who experimented with other men in their high school or college years. When their boyfriends became ex's, one went on to become another man's man. The other two continued to date women.

Suffice to say that within a few months of turning eighteen, however, I made up for lost time. Most guys I know though, gay or straight, have acknowledged some form of experimentation at a young age.

There were only stories about a very few guys experimenting with each other Bearing in mind how repressed people are about sexuality, I'm sure that those who did experiment didn't go out and have t-shirts made exclaiming the fact. I also want to point out that people might not be aware that they actually experimented. A quick fiddle around after lights-out might be seen by some as something innocent and forgettable.

Indeed, it probably is, but this questioner wants to know how common it was! You're right that anecdotes don't make for data, but I stand-by what I said. I identify as gay, but definitely in the age range I messed around with a lot of boys who now identify honestly, I think, in almost all cases as straight. And as pointed out above, many studies bear this out.

I think that a lot of people here are basing their assumptions on skewed samples, but speaking for myself and my friends I can say that no one I know has ever done anything like this. Nothing like this ever happened to me. I'd say about a third of my relatively small collection of ex-boyfriends mentioned having a tale like this in their past. Degree of anguish, shame, and disturbance about it in the present depended on their current degree of self-acceptance and confidence about their sexuality.

It seems to be less common among pre-adolescent girls- I had one episode of playing house with a girl cousin when I was 5 or 6, but while it had sexual overtones neither of us knew enough about sex for it to involve explicit physical contact. Um, that's sort of fallacial conclusion to draw, isn't it? Everyone played doctors and nurses, right? I did, she didn't! Like maybe boys wrestling being just a tad more than a fun game or gay thoughts maybe having a little crush on a friend without even realizing that's what it was vs.

I'd say that the first type of action is probably far more common than most people would think. If a gay act only lasts a moment or two, most people will end up forgetting about it or dismissing it entirely later on in life.

As for non-oblique gay acts, not everyone is sexually adventurous enough to try that kind of thing. For mutual masturbation, I don't think you just start doing it; you need to work your way up to it. Perhaps by the subject matter, perhaps just over a long period of mutual trust and feelings for each other. Speaking for myself, my two best friends both moved away during that age and I didn't really make new friends for several years after that.

I never had a truly close enough friend where that kind of thing had any possibility of occurring. And even then I doubt it'd happen because I'm shy and I'd probably steer the conversation away from any topic where anything more would happen. Lastly, I think from the tone of your post you are of the opinion that doing that kind of thing may have helped you identify primarily as gay. I think the other way to look at it is, you've almost always been primarily gay and you gave very subtle signs that you may not have been completely aware of.

So while you may not have initiated the acts, you probably behaved in a way that helped let those acts occur. I had a partner who didn't tell me about pubescent his same-sex experimentation until we'd been together a very long time. I too think it's more common that you'd imagine. That said, I'm a woman and I don't recall fooling around with my girlfriends. In the s as a teenager, I was the "experiment" for a couple of friends who now live heterosexual lives.

It was great, certainly for me. At least one friend says it was great for him too. For that matter, I had "experiments" with girls, too. I have a theory that as gay people get more accepted in US society the notion of "gay" vs "straight" as a specific identity is becoming a bigger deal to adolescents.

So in the past where it could just be some horny boys experimenting together with no real consequence, now it's wrapped up more in complicated questions of identity and social position. Kind of a shame, really. Gays and gay issues are highly visible in the media and in entertainment, way more so than even ten or fifteen years ago. Teens and even pre-teens now have a really strong sense of what "gay" or "bi" means, definitely way more than those a generation ago did.

When I was 13, if something like this had happened between me and a friend, it would have been undefinable and mysterious. Now, they have to mentally weigh any experimentation against the sexual identity they are trying to construct or project, whereas before young people were able mess around with far murkier concepts of sex or sexual identity. I don't think it takes more than curiosity or horniness no matter what a boy's "wiring" is.

The trick with guys who are going through puberty is that erections just happen, apropos to nothing. So two guys hanging out, doing not much, suddenly one of them has an erection. And depending on whether this is seen as silly or embarassing or a total non-issue, it's really not that great a leap to anything that might follow.

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4 Comments

  1. Indeed, it probably is, but this questioner wants to know how common it was! A quick fiddle around after lights-out might be seen by some as something innocent and forgettable. I imagine that if you have these interactions as a child, you are naturally attracted to this type of relationship.

  2. In my Liverpool working class neighbourhood can remember knowing what it meant to be gay from the age of about ten though we called them 'homs' in those days and knowing that it was a bad thing to be.

  3. Among the males who remain unmarried until the age of 35, almost exactly 50 per cent have homosexual experience between the beginning of adolescence and that age. Stuff they'd never admit to in the light of day when they're stone cold sober.

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