What's the problem with those "try these 10 moves tonight, guaranteed to get her off every time" lists? For starters, their success rate is nil. Since every vagina is shaped slightly differently, the moves that get women off vary from lady to lady. Meaning, every woman needs something a little bit different in order to reach the big O. Also, that "something" might not expressly involve your dick — since only The good folks at OMGYes know all about this struggle.
They created a platform to help spread the word about what women prefer in bed — with scientific data visualizations of how many women like what and why, video demonstrations by real women who love each technique, and virtual simulations that teach you how to execute each move. How does OMGYes know all this stuff? They've done their homework. Recently, they conducted a study of 2, women with the goal of figuring out the techniques and methods of fingering that feel best for different women, and why.
Of course, there's no "one fingering trick finishes all" technique. But there are some interesting insights from the study that can help steer you in the right direction.
Here's what thousands of women had to say about the precious art of fingering. Specifically, we're talking about the clit. One point echoed throughout the study was that the kind of "fingering" that actually brings women to orgasm is rubbing of the outside area around the clit. In fact, that's how most women masturbate, because it's what actually feels the best. For the vast majority of women, penetration is nice, but it's kind of like rubbing your balls: Pleasant, but not going to make you come.
Different Women Like Different Things There's no "one move fits all" technique that's going to do the trick — and anyone who tells you differently is lying. The women who participated in this study went as far as to say that the guys who think they have "the move" are usually worst at giving pleasure.
But for women, it's truly different strokes for different folks. The clit is so sensitive that some strokes can feel really uncomfortable or even hurt certain women. Meaning, if some move felt really good for your ex-girlfriend, that doesn't mean it'll do the trick for your next girlfriend. According to the OMGYes study, that kind of super fast cadence and pressure directly on the clit only feels good for 1 in 48 women.
For the rest, it either doesn't feel great or actually hurts. To put it into perspective, imagine someone taking your dick and rubbing the tip really hard with their palm as fast as they can.
It's a sharp painful tickle, and you want it to stop. For the vast majority of women, it's not a good move — even if women in porn are pretending to like it. Fingering Isn't Just For Foreplay It's a true fact that very few women get off by way of penetration alone.
Meaning, lending a helping hand to your partner's most sensitive part during intercourse is going to lead to more orgasms. In fact, the resounding sentiment from the study was that the clit gets attention paid to here and there, but most women would prefer to have it touched throughout the act. OK, so now that we've covered the big learnings from this study, you're probably wondering where you should go from here. To really understand the different patterns and ways of touching that feel best for your partner, you have to try them out.
While we can't give you a list of surefire ways to get your partner off, we can give you a few suggestions based on our learnings from OMGYes. Start By Touching Everything Except The Vagina Lots of guys go straight for it, the way they wish women would go straight for their dick. But for most women, the more anticipation that's built up that's built up before touching the vagina, the more aroused they become — and the more pleasure she'll feel once you do start to touch her down there.
The women who were surveyed said that kisses on the lips, neck, shoulders and arms usually do the trick, as well as gently, slowly stroking their stomach, legs and thighs. Be A Tease Approach the crotch area, but keep passing around it — as if it doesn't exist. One woman from the study likened this tactic to playing with a cat. If you reach right for it, it runs away.
If you tease and don't stroke it — it comes to you. Then, on the way back up, move your fingertip in another path that misses her crotch too. These moves build anticipation and help awaken arousal. Many women love this kind of withholding, and will eventually move their crotch toward your finger or tongue as it passes by — a good sign that the clit is ready to be touched. The more awake her body is, the more pleasurable it will be when you finally touch her.
Use The Hood The clit wears a naturally occurring hoodie of skin, which helps soften contact since the clit is super sensitive. Staying right on the clit is often pretty painful — to paint a picture, one woman from the study described the sensation as "the feeling of sticking a q-tip way too far into your ear.
To balance this, most women say that "layering" with the hood brings them the right amount of pleasure without the pain that direct contact with the clit can end up facilitating.
To try layering, touch the hood, rubbing it so that the pressure you're putting on the hood makes contact with the clit. Spread The Wetness You have to marinate before you barbecue. Before touching the clit directly, most women say they prefer you to spread the wetness from the inside of their vagina.
Get it on your finger, and "paint it" onto the rest of the lips and clit. Using this natural lube makes touching feel smoother, and allows your fingertips to glide and caress instead of pulling or catching on the sensitive skin.
Keep in mind, you'll likely have to go back for seconds and thirds of wetness in order to get it well-coated. It's also good to note that not all women make a lot of natural lube even if they're really turned on , so don't be shy about adding some manufactured lube into the mix. Touch The Clit Lightly According to the women surveyed, the most commonly appreciated "first touch" of the clit is with a feather-light touch.
We're not trying to get all soft here, but one woman compared the initial touch that she likes the most to rubbing honey on a butterfly's wing. Keep your touch delicate and light, so that your fingertip isn't even moving the skin, just gliding over it — not pushing or pulling.
Pay Attention To Her Reactions Many women from the study reported that the guys who are best at fingering are the ones who start off gently and then try different moves , while watching and asking for feedback. They also ask questions that don't put their partner in a tough spot. For example, questions like "'Is that good? Instead, ask questions like "Faster or slower? They're worried that they're taking too long, or that they'll offend their partner if they ask them to change their moves.
The quickest, easiest thing you can do to up your chances of getting your partner off is to take the pressure off of her by telling her that there's no rush. Tell her that you're loving the process, and that it can take as long as it needs to. Also, let her know that it's okay if it doesn't happen. Many women can't reach the big "O" because they feel like they're going to be letting their partner down if they don't.
If you take that end goal off the table, she's actually more likely to get there. Use A Toy One foolproof way to take things up a notch? Adding a toy into the mix.
Here are a few products to help level up your next finger bang. Kat's Flutter Ring You know that a sex toy is going to be solid when it has been designed by a board-certified sexologist. Kat Van Kirk, the flutter ring is the latest and greatest when it comes to clit stimulation. The toy conveniently attaches to your finger in order to keep it in place while you're maneuvering. The magic is in the way that the four silicone layers are tiered into a v shape.
When the toy vibrates, the layers delicately move with it, providing four times the pleasure — without overstimulating the way that larger clit stimulators can sometimes do. These finger pads combine the benefits of using a vibrating toy with all the best things about being fingered.
An orgasm that's earth-shattering. This clit-sensitizer lube does wonders when you use it during finger play. And a little goes a long way. Spread a quarter-sized amount on her clit to make her most sensitive part even more stimulated.
Pair this formula with the fingering moves and techniques in this article, and you've got all the tools you need to give her the most incredible finger bang of her life. Slightly over 2 inches long, this mini pocket vibrator is single speed, battery powered and easy to operate. It's also waterproof, in case you're getting your nasty on in the shower. Not to mention, a waterproof toy makes for easy clean up once you two are done using it.
Lubes that get sticky after you've been going at it for a while are pretty much a recipe for lost orgasms, so make sure you're using one that's silicone-based like this one. The best lovers aren't the ones who can move their fingers a certain way. They're the ones who are super in tune with how their partner is feeling, who go the extra mile to make her feel comfortable enough to give feedback.
If you can get your partner talking, telling you how she wants you to touch her, that's golden. The most mind-blowing orgasms are the ones that happen as a result of trial and error — with lots of communication throughout. AskMen may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. The links are independently placed by our Commerce team and do not influence editorial content.