Will she set her straight? Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention? I have never been a woman that cheats or really understood why people do it. I was with a man I gave my all to for six years. I was there when everyone turned their backs on him, emotionally, physically and financially. He has done some things that most women would fall apart over.
He cheated repeatedly and has been caught in lies. I thought I had gotten over the things he did but I would find myself looking at him in disgust and hating him. Last year, I had enough. I started a friendship with someone that gave me everything. He made me feel like I was the best thing on earth. I started to cheat emotionally and then it became sexual.
I left my ex for him. Now we have been in a relationship for almost a year but I cannot let my ex-boyfriend go. I miss him so much that it kills me. I find myself in love with two men, one that I know is toxic and the other who just leaves me speechless with happiness. What do I do before this gets out of control? Signed, Split Dearest Split, Angel face, you have stepped in it big time. Oh, what a web we weave when first we practice to deceive. What should you do before the situation gets out of control?
Control is a fading memory. The situation was out of control when you first stayed with your unfaithful ex. Good people put themselves in bad situations. Sure, others will drive us crazy if we let them, but The backstory as to why you are deceiving your current love is just that — a fairytale.
The punch line is that you have become exactly what you were running from when you left Man 1. However, you are now a cheater and a liar just like your ex. That will only make the situation more forbidden and thereby hotter for your potential escapades.
I am better than this and hopefully you are, too. I wish you the best. Never accept another call, text, email, booty call or box of chocolates from this loser ever again. Your ex is a crazy-maker, and as soon as you cut him off, he may seek revenge by telling your BF about the love triangle. You must tell your man first. Do not go into details about the infidelity. As beautiful a person as you say he is, he became intimate with you while you were committed to someone else.
Still, no one deserves deception. Your hormones and fears are entangled with two men. Your heart is still wounded. That makes us behave uncharacteristically.
You never healed or grieved the past between relationships number one and two. The reason you opened the door again to your piece of crap ex is that he is exactly who you think you deserve.
The only way you will make different choices is if you change your beliefs about yourself. You need to do some serious personal development work or you will recreate different versions of this situation.
Try yoga or meditation to get grounded. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Let she who is without sin stop lying to herself. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and humble enough to confide in someone.
You also may choose to look into professional help. My recommendation would be an expert who works with cognitive behavioral therapy. Investigate one-on-one counseling or coaching in addition to couples counseling with your boyfriend if he chooses to move forward with you. I have been there. The good news is that you made bad choices yesterday and you can make better choices starting right now.
Forgive yourself for your adulterous behavior and become the woman you imagine yourself to be. I have faith in you and hold a vision of your life being whole, loving, sane and healthy.