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My parents' sex life was never really a concern or interest of mine. Yes, occasionally I heard the head of their bed hit the wall a few times before it stopped or a muffled shriek come out of Mom.
But I never really thought about it, nor considered it my business. I had no idea there was trouble brewing until I accidentally eavesdropped on a phone conversation Mom was about to have with her best girlfriend , Cathy. Picking up the telephone to call my new friend, Eric, I heard the sound of a phone ringing on the other end. I was about to hang up but Fate made me listen in. I don't have much time because Patters just called me from Target and he'll be home in a minute, but how did it go last night with Hershell?
Are you sure you bought the same one as mine? Let's face facts, he is impotent, or he's not interested, or he's turned gay, which I doubt because he's got no sense of esthetics. You are a sexy, voluptuous woman who could make any man cream in their pants if you showed them what you have to offer.
Mark has a new friend, Eric, who gets my panties wet every time he comes over. I'm sure he is a total innocent but it is all I can do to I've got to get dinner started too. The Oscars are on at eight and Mark and I are going to watch it. He has no interest in the arts or movies or sex with me or Get out your vibrator and think about young Eric.
This was a thunderbolt! Dad wasn't screwing Mom and Mom had the hots for Eric! My hands were almost shaking as I called him. Eric and I had been friends since discovering each other in the computer lab at school a few months back. Both of us were better with programming software than stimulating lust in the girls we knew so we traded porn pictures with each other, and generally encouraged the other that better sexual days lie before us.
Now I had some real encouragement, via Mom of all people! I decided to call on my cell phone for privacy. I have got some really hot news for you that you won't believe. Can you come over tonight? The Oscars are on. Tell your Mom that you want to watch it on our big-screen television. I'll see you at eight. Hey, I'm dizzy here with this news. And you won't believe it when I tell you. But I've got an idea about this. You'll never guess in a million years, Eric. I realized they didn't say much to each other.
Mom talked to me about the movies that were up for Oscars but dad had nothing to add to the conversation. He just bitched about losing a contract at work and was looking sullen. Mom hadn't seen any of the films up for awards but had read about them in some of her women's magazines. She tried to fill me in as best she could, and I had seen some previews for some of them on TV too.
As nonchalantly as I could, I said at one point, "Hey, Eric is a real film buff and I told him that we were going to watch the Oscars on our big TV set. You know his mom can't afford much of a TV so I suggested he come over tonight and watch it with us.
Then she said, "Sure he can come over. It'll be more fun with more people. I've got a proposal to write tonight and I want to get to bed right after the news. I need to relax a bit before the Oscars. An hour later, mom was still in the bathroom and I heard Eric's car drive up.
I went out to meet him and give him the heads up. He couldn't believe it either. But we have to be cool. I'm not sure how we should handle this, but follow my lead tonight, OK? If we play this right we can both get something, OK? It's your mother, Chris. Hey, what about your dad? We both sat on the sofa directly in front of it and started to watch the pre-Oscars show. Momentarily, we heard directly behind us, "Hi boys, has it started yet?
She looked really pretty. Her black hair was down on her shoulders and she had a hint of lipstick on. She had changed her clothes and now was wearing a light yellow blouse and light blue skirt with a belt that looked a bit tight around her womanly belly. We could just see a bit of her cleavage since the top two buttons on her blouse were unbuttoned.
Then I got a whiff of her perfume. Let's lower the lights and get comfortable on the sofa. All three of us can sit here fine. Then we'll all be right in front. Jon Stewart was hosting the 78th Annual Oscars show but we all agreed he wasn't as funny as he was on the Daily Show. But we laughed through a prepared montage of cowboy film clips that featured famous cowboy stars like John Wayne saying things that, at least out of context, were a bit gay.
It was because of the Brokeback Mountain gay cowboy movie up for an Oscar, of course, and Mom said at the end, "Well, I'll bet there are no gay cowboys on either side of me. I hoped that he wasn't giving Mom a clue that we knew. A commercial came on and she said that she was going to get us some beers.
When Mom came back we both noticed that one more button was unbuttoned on her blouse and she leaned way over as she handed a beer to Eric and me. After Mom made sure we saw as much as we could see, she immediately sat between us again. Our sofa isn't all that long so we were all sitting right up against the other.
I could feet the soft warm flesh of Mom's leg against mine. I presumed Eric could feel her as well. It was pretty dark in the room now and Mom's hands were at her sides, and almost lying on my leg, so I took her hand and squeezed it.
After a few minutes, Mom dropped Eric's hand but kept holding mine. Dolly Parton started to perform her song, "Travlin' True" from "Transamerica" and Mom said, "Look at that poor old dear. She is so skinny these days and her lips look puffed up with collagen. I looked at Eric but he wasn't smiling at my joke. Don't you think so, Mom? She's a lot older than I am and she's always had those breasts as far as I can remember. Bravely I said, "Well, maybe, but I bet they're hard silicon, not real breasts like these are.
You can't touch me like that! What are you thinking? You don't need any silicon or anything else. You are so pretty and sexy and I'm just so proud that my Mom is percent real woman.
They're real," Mom said, looking at least somewhat pleased at the compliments she was getting. What are you doing? I don't think you should What if Hershell should come in here and see you bouncing my boobs? What do you think he'd do?? I lightly pinched Mom's nipple too. Mom looked down and saw that with the bouncing another button had somehow gotten undone. Look at this, Eric," I said as I pulled back Mom's open blouse as far as I could with the buttons that were undone.
We all three looked and saw Mom's voluptuous left breast trying to overflow the Playtex dam. You can't just open my shirt to show my breasts! What in the world has gotten into you?
What if your father should see you do that? Your breasts are so amazing and full and soft and womanly. Any man, even your son, has got to be proud to have a mother that is so sexy and stacked.