Anal sex is anal sex. People can be gay; sexual intercourse cannot. You can enjoy anal intercourse with another man or another woman. It's only gay if you're doing it with a man. You might think it's "disrespectful"?
Well, not if it's done by consenting lovers who both want to try it. Want to know what a disrespectful approach is? Of course, anal sex is not as romantic as missionary vaginal sex, but we all want a bit of spice from time to time. Even in a monogamous relationship anal sex may not be something you want to carry on doing, but then again, sharing an allegedly taboo can be exciting and it can actually pull you closer. All in all, anal sex as part of your sexual repertoire means you'll feel more intimate and have more sexual things to play around with, which will let you enjoy the variation and the fun of something a bit more spicy from time to time.
And if you do it right, it's only dirty in the way that great sex is dirty! It's just one more way to mix things up - anal sex can be a Saturday night special, or something for holidays and special occasions. And sure, as we said, anal sex may not be a something you want to revisit - but a lot more people enjoy it than you'd think. Advice On Anal Sex See how the same old issues come up time and time again. They centre on women's desire to please men and their fear of pain, which often results in a woman doing anal from an anxious place which does indeed cause her pain because her body is not relaxed.
Maybe the problem is, at its root, one of sexual liberation, in the sense that a woman needs to find her voice - i. Assuming that she really does want to continue with anal sex then the key to success is lots of lube, tolerance and patience by both parties, slowness and gentleness by the man, and good sexual skill - which means no male sexual dysfunction - either premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation. You see, some men who find it difficult to reach orgasm think a tighter fit around the penis will help them come faster.
But the anus is not naturally lubricated, so if you need to thrust for over 15 minutes before you reach orgasm, anal sex is definitely not for you or your partner! By contrast, if you come too soon, you are likely to come even quicker with anal intercourse.
Instead you might wish to consider the possibility of using a self-help program such as Ejaculation By Command, which you can find at www.
Extract from "The Onion" How do I love my lady's anus? Let me count the ways Have you seen her? Have you seen my beautiful lady and her anus? Unless you are an ex-boyfriend, her proctologist, or an art student in that class she modeled for, you probably have not have glimpsed the fairest orifice on God's green Earth.
For this, you have my deepest sympathies. My lady does not like me to go on and on about her anus, but how can I resist? When I look into that one brown eye, it's like gazing into a deep, untouched lake.
Sometimes, it's as if I'm gazing through a taut, puckered window into her very soul, placing myself in danger of being hypnotized by the swirls of her rectum. Her anus is like a vessel I can't seem to fill with enough love, no matter how hard I try. I am not what one would call a holy man, but when I am gently kissing my lady's fragrant anus, I am convinced that there must be a higher power out there who made this sacred aperture.
So - why do it? Well, anal sex means exploring the parts of your lover's body that would normally be taboo. This can add a high level of intensity and excitement.
Both men and women have rear ends with loads of erotic nerves, all waiting to be investigated. For the initiated, anal sex is an altogether new and exciting sensation. You're still not convinced? Well, before you reject it altogether, why not try it and see how anal sex feels?
After all, if you never extend your sexual horizons, you're never going to find out what you like Remember, backdoor action doesn't always have to mean hardcore anal fucking or hours of rimming mouth and tongue play on the anus. Sometimes a teasing finger pushed up there at the right moment during oral or manual sex or even during vaginal intercourse can be enough anal sex play to keep you both happy!
In fact, anal play may never go further than that for you - but why let all those good nerve endings go unsatisfied? Unlike vaginal sex, anal sex isn't quite as simple as inserting a penis into a vagina. The anus and rectum are much less harder to penetrate and much less accommodating than the vagina, so it helps to get a little anal education before you enter. For your edification - Infographic First of all, there are two small sphincters that bound each end of the anal canal see the illustration.
The more nervous and stressed someone feels, the more these muscles clench up. This is why relaxation, light-heartedness, patience, and a slow approach - as well as some anal foreplay - are very necessary when you start playing with anal sex. Have a look at the diagrams below so you can see what you are dealing with in anal sexual play. Beyond the anus lies the rectum, an S-shaped part of the gut which receives feces immediately before defecation - it isn't really where shit is stored, if you have a good bowel habit i.
Since your penis, dildo, or finger is not the same shape, you can see how it is a good idea to play around with techniques and sex positions until you find the combination that feels right for you. That's as true for anal intercourse as it is for finger play or dildo exploration. Since there is no position that will straighten out the curve completely, put anything up into the anus as slowly and carefully as possible!
Go in slowly and gently and listen to what your partner says, tilting the angle of entry as needed to give them comfort. The other key factor about anal sex is that there is no natural lube in the anus. This is very different to the vagina, where a woman's natural lubrication eases the passage of the penis, hence the importance of some kind of artificial lube.
And another important point is that the anal and rectal tissues are much more delicate than the walls of the vagina, which makes unprotected anal sex such a risky activity - it is easy to transmit STDs, including HIV, the precursor of AIDS. Consider also the possibility of physical damage if you don't take it slowly or forget the lube.
Remember also that yeast infections can easily be spread from rectum to vulva and vagina - and for that matter from rectum to the man's penis. Anal Anatomy for Anal Sex Spontaneity and planning are not incompatible in sex. So have the heavy duty condoms and the anal lube ready for when you want to play with anal sex.
Nothing ruins the mood quite like douching, seducing, fingering, licking and then bending over with your anus at the ready only to find that there's no lube in your bedside table. Becoming backdoor buddies with your lover requires trust and good communication.
This means it probably isn't something to try with a one-night stand or on the third date. It can be a very powerful experience in many ways - the power a woman has over a man who wants anal sex so badly he'd give anything to get it can be awesome, and a woman may feel it in her excitement as she gets down on her hands and knees with her ass in the air, ready for her lustful man to penetrate her behind.
But assuming you follow all the advice here, there's no reason why anal sex shouldn't become just another fun thing to do over the weekend! Are you ready in the body?
If you can douche with a small amount of water before you get ready for anal sex, this will clean out any lingering particle of shit in the rectum, which makes it nicer for all concerned. It's certainly a good idea to at least shower or wash your behind in a bidet first. Anyone who's going in with a finger should have trimmed and filed nails, and the more sexually aroused you are, the better: Here's an anal sex check list: Use a lot of lubricants for intercourse for the anal variety - a thick, water-based lube is best, but you can use oil if you are not using a condom, and that in turn can only be because you're body-fluid-familiar with your partner, monogamous, and not going to have vaginal intercourse before you've had a good wash Unprotected anal sex is very risky behavior as far as the transmission of STI s is concerned, so please use a condom unless the above exception applies to you Latex gloves can help a finger slip into your partner's anus easily and they remove doubts about hygiene!
Oral sex dams are one way to enjoy rimming safely because back-end bacteria can make you sick. Unscented hand wipes or towels will help you clean sex toys, fingers, or penis, especially if the receiving partner worries about what the penetrating partner might touch in their anus. By the way, a little brown-tinged lube is normal! This may be because many women find it uncomfortable or even painful.
But when you do anal sex "correctly", this form of intercourse can be very enjoyable for both partners. Those ladies who do enjoy anal intercourse regularly report various reasons why they enjoy it: So our advice is that if you like the idea of anal intercourse but you've found it to be uncomfortable or painful then try again! Anal sex has a lot of negative images associated with it. As you know, little boys and girls learn mostly that shitty things in general and the anus in particular is dirty.
Many of us also have negative feelings about bowel movements, and as adults, we are often uncomfortable with the concept of touching our own anus, or even with a loving partner touching it. Good hygiene during anal sex solves all these problems. Of course, you may get AIDS and hepatitis from an infected man or woman, and they may be carriers with no symptoms, so safe sex is incredibly important.
But overall, the bottom line no pun intended is this: The anus is full of erotic nerve endings; no wonder, then, that so many people find anal stimulation exciting or enjoyable. Anal sex techniques and sexual positions can give great pleasure! While the anus can be very pleasantly sensitive to sexual stimulation, it is of course designed for expulsion, not insertion! As we have observed, it is not lubricated like the vagina, and it can contract fiercely, shutting tightly when you try and insert a hard object.
That's why you need lots of gentle pressure, relaxation and lube - and a good supply of patience! Good quality lube lets things such as a penis, a dildo, or a finger slip in without friction on the delicate tissues of the anus and rectum.
And, yes, you do need to be patient, because the anal muscles may need to be conditioned to relax when you're penetrating your partner. This relaxation is needed to overcome the anal reflex which tries to expel objects that shouldn't be there which is why anal sex toys like Butt Plugs have a ridge to keep them in place. So use plenty of lubricant and make sure you have lots of time to enjoy anal sex play and intercourse.
The product manufacturer claims it works like a mild anesthetic and allows easy penetration without loss of sensation and therefore produces conditions ideal for relaxed, and enjoyable anal intercourse. Hygiene and anal sex Photos from Wikimedia commons.
There is an answer Rectal microbicides - topical gels, ointments and lubricants laced with drugs to block HIV - could help stop the spread of the virus. So why is it taking so long to develop them?