Charlie Gets Crippled [2. Dee, you scared the crap out of me. What are you doing? Same thing you're doing. I'm not letting dad give all our possessions to poor people. Alright, hey I got here first though. I'm taking the plasma TV and I'm taking the fish tank. How come you get to pick and choose?
It's not that I get to pick and choose, it's that I'm a man and I'm strong. I can carry heavy things. You're a woman, you're weak and You're a woman and you're weak. That doesn't make any sense. You don't make any sense. Maybe you should let me do all the talking. No, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. So watch and learn. Awww, look at you sweetie, what happened? Go get me a beer, bitch! The Gang Goes Jihad [2. Your wife says she's afraid of you. I'm here for the dog.
That woman is amazing! You just met her; she's already got you running errands for her. Just go get the dog. I don't have the dog. So you've been in here tearing apart pillows and While you were out making money, who do you think was at home, cooking and cleaning and raising your children?
A series of Mexican women. He's getting a weapon everybody. Everybody get a weapon! This Jew's in for a ton of work. You can't say things like that! I don't know what I said. Uh, you dropped a hard "J" on us. It just got to be too dangerous. I mean, you know with everything that's happening. Well, that's a tough situation you got over there. Oh yeah, you got that whole tsunami and the Well, the superdome thing.
No, there's no superdome Well it's one of those places over there. It's a different country, Charlie so why don't Well I'm just trying to help the guy out.
Why don't you just shut up! The Gang Gives Back [2. Hey gang, what's the action? What's going on here? You know these guys? You were in Vietnam? Don't get excited Mac, he was in Vietnam ten years ago on a business trip. And I'll be proud of you. Holds up soda can Dennis: Does it look like I need to be on a diet? I don't know Dennis: Terrible, take a lap. All right, kids, how you feeling? Are you drinking the Red Bull? Come on, chug 'em down! That's the vitamins ripping out the inside of your stomach.
That's a good thing, trust me. I wrote down my phone number. The waitress hands a folded piece of paper to Charlie Charlie: No, this will be a platonic sponsor, sponsoree kind of a thing. He unfolds the piece of paper Oh I was so close.
Dennis and Dee Go On Welfare [2. Charlie, you've got a lot of balls, stealing my money. This shows leadership, I am promoting you to management. That's why I did it. That's why I did it too, Frank! I stole lots of your money, what do I get? You get dick, because you are a follower and a thief. Why would you do this to us, dad? Because you're crackheads, children.
I'm a recovering crack head. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare, please. Is one crack rock enough? Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom [2. Charlie look, I normally wouldn't come to you with this sort of thing because you're incredibly unreliable Dennis' mom tried to have sex with me! Yeah man, she got naked I mean, that woman is straight crazy, but I think I wanna bang her, man!
I know I shouldn't do it I think you should do it! Look, an opportunity like this only comes around once in a lifetime right? And so you'd be a fool to let it slip through your fingers. That's what I'm thinking! Well that means that no one ever ever is going to find out. That doesn't make any sense It doesn't have to make sense! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him! What are you gonna do? Punch him in the face? Maybe work the body a little? No no no, that's not gonna help.