Religious imposition laws are designed to shield private individuals and businesses from complying with nondiscrimination laws based on a religious objection to that service. I seem to not be able to feel any sort of pleasure from anything sexual. It hurts being fingered. It also feels too awkward. When my boyfriend tried doing it, it hurt. He tried giving me oral sex , but that was painful. I tell him it hurts, and he tries to go as gently as he can, but it still hurts.
We lost our virginities to each other a couple of months ago. It hurt a lot the first two times. After it stopped hurting, it just felt like nothing. I should be comfortable enough with my body to be able to show him what to do, but if nothing feels good, I have nothing to show him. It is extremely frustrating, because I do get turned on and wet, but end up disappointed, dissatisfied, and annoyed. Get the facts, direct to your inbox. Subscribe to our daily or weekly digest. I am a little insecure.
I also suspect a reason might have been because we had unprotected sex and I might have been nervous, or the fact that we might have gotten caught so I was distracted.
We love each other a lot, and my boyfriend would like to be able to give me the sensations that I am able to give him. Even when I am aroused, I get no pleasure whatsoever. Masturbating does nothing for me either. It sucks because I want to be able to have an orgasm and I want my boyfriend to feel like he is actually good at sex. It makes me feel like a freak, do I have faulty nerves or something? Is there something wrong with me?
My boyfriend and I had anal sex but neither of us felt anything once he penetrated or while he was in. I felt him go in but that was it. Me and my boyfriend decided to have sex for the first time. When I finger myself its real tight but I either feel nothing or pain? Not feeling anything at all, or feeling very little, with any kind of genital sex where the most sensory parts of the genitals are being stimulated is typically an indication someone is just not very aroused or as aroused as they need to be.
And whenever we are highly aroused, every kind of sex, including touch with parts besides our genitals, is always going to feel more intense. Most of arousal , pleasure, and sexual response are about our brains and central nervous systems.
In terms of your genitals specifically, a bunch of different things happen, beyond just self-lubrication which can also happen as part of your fertility cycle: The cervix and uterus pull backwards, the back of the vagina tents and becomes more spacious, the walls of the vagina fill with blood, and the vulva looks different, with a puffier mons and outer and inner labia and a deeper color.
And like the penis , the clitoris becomes erect, and not just the glans and hood you can see on the outside, but the internal portions as well, which make the front of the vagina feel more compact, full, and a lot more sensitive inside inside the first third, anyway—the back portion only gets so sensitive.
One tricky thing that often comes up with younger people, and more commonly with women, is a clear difficulty in correctly identifying what it really is to be and feel fully aroused. Sometimes that has absolutely nothing to do with love at all. How we feel about ourselves has as much to do with how aroused we are as how we feel about our partners.
Did we sleep well? Are we stressed out about school? Do we have a bunch of zits making us feel not at all sexy? You identify some things I suspect have inhibited you from getting as turned on as you probably can: There are also some common threads in your question and some of the other similar questions, like having sexual motives about making an insecure partner feel validated, being new to partnered sex, and putting a lot on genital sex rather than other whole-body or other-body-part sexual activities.
But what we or our partners are doing in terms of touch does also matter. Not everyone likes the same sexual things, experiences pleasure or pain from the same things, or likes a given thing done a given way.
Like anything else, sex is something we learn over time and get better at with practice—way more than a few weeks or months of it. Everyone involved needs to be pretty creative and open to experimentation, as well as open and comfortable with the fact that some things will be easier than others, and some things will involve way more experimentation than others.
Sure, it could be psychological, in whole or in part. No one has to masturbate or have sex. However, that pain could also be about, or made more severe by, a health issue, and if it is, all of this stuff about arousal may not be very relevant. Issues like those will require treatment for pain to stop or decrease. You voice that both of you are having issues with insecurity. You voice that he seems to have an inability to separate love from sex, and is not understanding that how much someone loves someone else is not necessarily going to have anything to do with their sexual response.
You only have so much control over your body, and a statement like that implies, to me, that he has his own sexual issues to work out that no kind of sex with you will magically fix. Do you think that? And all of that combined sets off my radar.
Self-esteem, to be clear, is about our value of our whole selves—not just who we are in a relationship, who we are as a romantic or sexual partner to anyone, or who we are in bed. Someone as insecure as he sounds like probably needs to do some growing before he can handle being a sexual partner. Good partners are able to comfort us at those times, rather than making it about them. The best advice I have based on what you told me is to step back from sex in this relationship for now—not just intercourse , but all genital sex.
Just put it on the back burner for at least a little while. I think both of you have some things to do on your own first before you can potentially get to a place where it might be a lot more sound and feel better, physically and emotionally, for both of you. I think you should also assess this relationship on the whole. Someone you love who refuses to believe you love them, who is deeply insecure and impatient, who is passive-aggressive in his communication just might not be a good person to be close to, period—not just sexually.
He can read up on and work toward better communication, especially in situations like sex where the emotional stakes are high. I also think it would be a great idea for both of you to do a sexual inventory worksheet like this , answering very honestly, then sharing each of your answers together.
Same goes with our sexual readiness checklist. Maybe one or both of you will just realize you moved faster into sex than was sound. If and when you both get to a place where all of those things feel better, physically and emotionally, alone and together, then you can probably move forward and have this all go very differently than it has.
You are still very young. I think the pieces on communication and reciprocity could be of particular benefit when you talk together.