Especially when it comes to attraction and the dance of love. Take this for instance: We need to actually SAY that? There are men out there who will hear this song and suddenly correct their ways when it comes to sexual consent?
The heart of romance is a certain level of uncertainty. And that is where chemistry and romance lives. Plus, you want men to chase you. What I do want to do for you today is to share with you a few ways that you can make men want to chase you. Because you never know… you might need this sometime.
Be accepting… ALL the time. Men have the burden of mustering his courage, braving possible rejection, and initiating approaches and conversations. Women have to try to be graceful when some clueless douchey dude decides to talk to you about your day.
If you want men to reach out and start those connections, you have to help create a climate that encourages men in this role.
Even if they occasionally come across like gorillas in the China shop. Another reason is that it keeps you positive mostly and accepting of men. That in turn reflects in your energy. Hey, these days, can you blame them? No games — play it straight. When it comes to your interest, being too coy will work against you. Because this new social climate has already left men very ambivalent about reaching out to say hello and talk to you.
Guys see through this behavior, and any kind of game playing will turn him off right from the start. Then he will wait and talk to the next woman who has open energy. Remember another side benefit of him chasing you is that you get to see how much confidence he has. When he texts you or calls you the next day, answer. Stay sexy… This phrase was burned into my brain since I first heard it from a woman I worked with back in the 90s.
All the women in the room were giving their advice to one who was about to get married. But when I did, her words haunted me. You gotta keep up the effort to make yourself the goddess in his eyes that he wants to see. So after you spend the night that first time, work to keep up some of the mystique. Because a man interprets the effort you put into looking good as the amount of desire you feel for him.
No need to work to win you over! Hook him in, but throw him back in the pond. Spend that time cuddling to build up some real connection with him. But eventually, cut it off and send him home. That will give him the kick in the butt he needs to resume the chase again. She tries to keep him around too long after that first night of fun. You have to know when to boot him for his own good. Nudging him back out sends a good message: No guilty feelings, and definitely no shame on your part.
Another big mistake that I see women making is that — in their efforts to reconnect with him — they do want him to chase… but then she starts chasing him as quickly as she possibly can. You gotta LET a man have the room to miss you before he will chase you.
Funny how that works, huh? Match him text for text. Leave that until he asks you out again. Make yourself unavailable, stop reaching out, and WHAM! And if he responded to your chasing, you would have been chasing him until he finally dumped you. Look, being irresistible is about tipping the scales of power just enough in your favor. Guys are weird that way. We WANT to feel that resistance from you. So what you really need is to strike that balance between nice and bitchy.
This was the man she had spent years with.