Whether that is her intention sometimes or not. Just read below to see why. You say it all so well! And if your daughter one day said to you, if you had a daughter, if she came to you and said that she wanted to get into that industry? Only because this is such a hard industry for a woman to get ahead and get the respect that she deserves.
So you would advise young women not to get involved in the industry? Not unless they had their head on completely straight and they knew that this is what they wanted to do. For my child, hey, I want them to go to college and be a doctor. Highly recommended for anti-pornography activists! In the introduction to the book Jenna says: And then for years, in private, I wrestled with myself.
The following, then, is a true story. By her date when she was fifteen and lost her virginity, pgs. By a group of high school boys, who severely beat her and then left her for dead. Being a pornography performer can be bad for your emotional, mental, and physical health, and you will likely get sick at times as a result of your work.
I woke up at five every morning and got to the studio by seven for makeup. Suze, I soon realized is also a shark. She shot me until I was half dead. You never know what kind of lifestyle people are leading off the set.
Only a handful of women look good fucking: At the very least, most girls have to battle eating disorders at some point from seeing themselves jiggling naked on camera so much.
You get run down. That night, when I returned from work, I had a sore throat…. By the end of the movie, my throat was so swollen it hurt to swallow and I was so weak I could barely hold a conversation. When I returned home, I looked in the mirror and there were huge white lumps all over my throat…The doctor who finally saw me was a hack.
And condoms were rarely used in films that that time. We canceled shooting that day because no one could work. The next day, Steve told us that it had been a false positive. Everyone was relieved, but at the same time, we had all changed: And I was excited to do all that work. I was willing to do anything to be someone who everyone loved.
Looking back on it, it was just a new type of insecurity replacing the old one, and I was giving myself away to the needs and expectations of the public instead of the needs and expectations of the men in my life. It was just a new form of dependence developing.
And it was equally detrimental to any sort of emotional stability. I close myself off. I never take the time to feel the effects of my choices. I realize I have avoided my pain for as long as I can remember. Be strong little one…Things can only get better. As life goes racing by me, all the while my soul goes on with sickness. Because the one that should be nursing it is too busy trying to succeed and be accepted.
So I go on faking that I am whole, proud, and strong… I almost laughed aloud when I turned my head down to wipe my tears on my shirt and saw the pen I was pouring my pain through. My heart is a gypsy — continuously searching for a home, fighting within itself, wondering whether it is weak or even right for that matter to be searching in the first place. Loneliness is what it feels like. Loneliness or complete heartbreak? It generally takes a good three weeks to shoot even the crappiest independent film; we do it in one to six days.
I had been in every scene, and still had two sex scenes left to film, which meant at least five hours of work to go. In order to really succeed, you will likely have to get painful breast implants. They all said my breasts were too small. My boobs were certainly big enough for all the men who stared at them every time I left the house. Just like at the Crazy Horse strip club , the girls with the monster silicone got all the attention.
I cried when I looked in the mirror afterward: You will likely have to have sex with other people you find repellent. He had a soft, pasty body; a porous, greasy complexion; and a kindergarten haircut, parted in the middle and combed to either side. Nothing about Arnold Biltmore turned me on. And in ten minutes I was supposed to have sex with him.
When our scene started, he tried to kiss me. I turned my head away from the camera, so that no one could see me grimace…. When it smacked me between the eye, it flipped a switch in my head. Every guy in the industry has one fetish or passion that keeps him going. So they have to go somewhere in their head to keep themselves interested and aroused. Being a pornography performer can often be physically painful.
When I see those photos now, it seems obvious that the sexy pout I thought I was giving the camera was just a poorly disguised grimace of pain. I was so out of shape from my unhealthy lifestyle that my knees would suddenly start knocking during a pose or my lower back would spasm when I arched it for too long….
I really wanted to please Suze, so I was willing to hold my knees over my head for twenty minutes straight, until my spine felt like it was going to snap.
Boy raced through the foreplay — a little kissing a little oral sex — then all hell broke loose. He slammed me so fast and hard that it took every ounce of control I had to stay focused and in the moment….
I could feel my thighs bruising against his. Then suddenly it all stopped. He pulled out and shot straight into my mouth. He grabbed my hips and helped me just over his lap and started slamming me into his dick. I was in decent shape cardio-wise, but he moved with such force and speed that I was winded. It felt like my insides were going to fall out. And then, finally, he popped — again. And he put it right back inside. The guy was a machine. There was no lull.
His focus never dimmed. His intensity never wavered. I was in shock. I was starting to get sore. I have to go eat something. I was curious to see what he was up to now. He walked off, devoured three cans of tuna, and was back with a raging hard-on still pulsating in the air.
His very first thrust banged my cervix wrong. I doubled over in pain, rocking and moaning and clutching myself for fifteen minutes. It took another six hours before I was ready to have sex again. The porn industry will objectify you and influence you to see yourself as an object. The porn industry and the people in it do not treat women with decency, fairness and respect. And these girls, some of whom have the potential to become major stars in the industry, go home afterward and pledge never to do it again because it was such a terrible experience.
She walks home with three thousand dollars, bowed legs, and a terrible impression of the industry. When I spread for him, he joked about there being an echo in the room. When I went into a doggie position, he commented on needing a fish-eye lens for my ass. I looked at how the other girls were being treated basically like Tinkertoys and what type of people got to call the shots the male directors.
I was determined not to just be a fuck toy but also retain as much power as possible off camera. I ran after him in a Tasmanian Devil frenzy. The crew had to pull us apart. It was late and my nerves were frayed, but nonetheless J. And I was right: When he left, I collapsed in my makeup chair and started crying.