Sex Parties 20 things to know before your first sex party. Your prettier, cooler friend went to one in Amsterdam and talks about it all the time. How can you look like you belong there? Here are some things that can help you feel more comfortable and confident attending your first sex party.
Unless the rules of the party state otherwise. What are you actually hoping to find at this party? What it is that intrigues you about this opportunity, and what you are hoping to learn or gain by attending? Talk with your partner about it, too. What are they hoping to find?
Is it something completely different? Are your individual goals in competition? I want to watch my partner play with someone else, but they only wants us to play with each other. Am I alright with that? Negotiate your boundaries Set boundaries with your partner ahead of time. Do you plan to play together, if the opportunity arises? This list is probably a different list than if you were in the privacy of your own home, so make time to discuss it.
Here are some questions to start the conversation: Are you comfortable being naked at the party? Are you comfortable with your partner being naked? Is kissing other people okay? Are you comfortable playing at the party? Are you planning on playing together? Would you be upset if your partner played with someone else without you? Are you planning on playing together, and inviting others to join you? How would you feel if you guys ended up playing in two separate groups of people all night?
What are you most afraid of happening? What are you most excited about happening? Negotiating boundaries is crucial to your being able to navigate a public play space. These are difficult conversations, but they are enlightening and empowering. Sometimes, sexual liberation takes hard work.
Literally, anything except that. Your rules, and your way of checking in with each other may be different. Find something that works for you, and agree on it before the party. Understand the risks Sex is not risk-free. Are you attending a party where all guests provided STD test results?
What risks are you willing to take? Would kissing and cuddling be okay, but penetration is off-limits? Is penetration fine as long as you use condoms? Are you planning on using dental dams and are they provided, or do you need to bring your own?
If one of you gets sick, what next? Go ahead and bring it up. Have a plan Know when to call it quits, and have a way to let each other know that you need to leave. Always remember, you do not have to check off your entire bucket list in one night. There WILL be other parties. You will probably run into the same people again. You want to negotiate your boundaries sober, ahead of time, when there is no pressure.
Read and memorize the House Rules No red wine, because they have white carpet? Do you need to ask before touching other guests? Is the master bedroom off limits for playing? Are you allowed to shower, but only if you brought your own towel? These parties are becoming more popular. Grooming Shower as close to the event as possible.
I recommend carefully washing your nethers and trimming hair. Trimming is totally acceptable. If you get a tiny cut while shaving, you may be making yourself more susceptible to STD transmission.
If you want it all bare, I recommend getting waxed or sugared the day before. Sexytime gets hot and sweaty, so newbs are often compelled to pile on the Axe body spray. Bring your allergy meds. Many play parties take place in private homes, and they may have pets. Do not do that thing where you ask if they can lock the cat in a bedroom. Take your allergy meds and deal. Viagra A lot of guys take Viagra before parties.
Something about being in a crowd keeps your brain on alert and causes problems for a lot of people. Be clean and presentable! I would arrive fully clothed, and not only be wearing lingerie under a jacket. I usually end up in my underwear and a pair of pasties. Pasties are a great option.
Expensive lingerie is usually not worth it. It comes off pretty quick, and clothing is frequently lost at these events. Everyone is still sober, clothed, and it feels like a regular cocktail party. This allows you to meet a bunch of people quickly in a low-pressure way. The babysitter called; a pipe burst. Do not talk loudly as you arrive or leave.
Give the neighbors zero reason to take interest in this event. Be respectful of the risk your hosts might be taking, and help them reduce that risk. Some people are not comfortable sharing personal details at a sex party.
Some even use pseudonyms to protect their careers. What CAN you talk about? Where have you traveled, and where would you love to go? But for some play-party-goers, these topics hit close to home. For some, like sex workers or people who identify as queer, etc.
They feel like human rights that are being violated. If you disagree with these lifestyles and orientations, you may find it difficult to find common ground with other guests. The men are not all straight; the women are not all bi.
Be aware that the crowd may not conform to your expectations. You are going to a sex party to expand your sexual horizons, so be open to learning new things. Do not take pictures Never, ever pull out a camera and take pictures at a play party. You might have the permission of the people front and center in the picture, but what about people in the background? Many parties will kick you out for a first offense.
Some places say pictures are okay, but I advise you to err on the side of caution. Hosts can work with you ahead of time to keep everyone feeling good about the plan. Access exists, but being dishonest will not get you the inside scoop. But the best course of action there is to alert on of the event organizers of that situation. You will very likely not be invited back. Stay safe Be vigilant of your surroundings, and trust your gut. Responsible, experienced hosts will have put a lot of effort into keeping you safe.
But you should still be aware of your surroundings. Candles are beautiful, but are a fire hazard. Is the host or organizer sober and accessible if you have an issue?