What men are looking for when they push you for sex Sex is the thing that women are obligated to do with men if they want to keep a man around. Sex is the thing we think we have to do with men to keep them around.
When a man is in love, he can have zero sex with a woman and still stick around, whilst being emotionally attracted to her and faithful to that one woman. Still, why do women feel pressured to sex a man? When they get all touchy feely towards us, when they talk dirty to us, we feel the pressure instantly. We think they are wanting sex. Are you dating a commitment friendly man? Because in our perspective, if he is successful in gaining our trust in the moment; then we might actually want to have sex.
And neither should be have to open just because we feel pressured. What do men actually want? So, the more single minded a man seems to be — the more careful you have to be. And men can have sex with a tree, they can also have sex with someone they hate…so, if the relationship is purely sex oriented — then this advice does not apply.
But if your connection with a man was about any more than just sex for both of you — men care about your openness more than whether you have sex with them. And we interpret their advances, their touching etc, as a push for sex with us. That is not necessarily true. We pull away out of fear that he just wants sex. What if we just stayed with that fear we felt and melted into whatever emotion came next? To connect with us? The sign that a woman belongs to a man is her openness to him not to lots of different men.
Do I really have to say out loud that men want to own a woman and a woman wants her man to own her? If a man owns a woman, she feels safe. But it takes a courageous woman to be willing to be owned. It is not about sex. It is about a woman being open with her energy. A woman who is taking her energy everywhere — trying to take attention from a bunch of different men, is usually not being faithful and selective with whom she shares her energy with.
And we lose out on the good men when we do this. This is often what men are trying to get from a woman — faithfulness; a feeling that her feminine energy is going to him only, not just to any random douche on the street. Is there something really wrong with allowing a man to have command and direction in your life, if he does it out of love?
And if his ability to command you FOR you is better than your own? We are too afraid to live out our fantasies. What would happen if you let yourself open to the right men? NOT to every man. Your openness would potentially make a lot of men fall in love with you. Because the openness is the ingredient necessary for relationship oriented connection and emotional attraction.
And the ones only interested in sex would disappear. Learn more about why you should be worried when a man comes on strong here. Strong woman vs weak woman What is a strong woman? A strong woman, in one definition, can be a tough and self sufficient woman. But it takes a strong woman to have the courage to give a man more than sex.
It takes even deeper courage to be willing to trust that what a man wants is not just sex: To be high value means to trust that men actually want more than sex To be high value means to trust that men actually want more than sex.
Can I ask that you consider beginning to trust this? Because, if we believe in our bodies that men just want sex, then we enter the dating world with a low value energy.
And our bodies show it. And, if we have a lot of casual sex, our bodies become less and less open and luscious. So we really have to be careful with casual sex. Our natural state is to let things progress to sex when we open and trust a man. My husband talks a lot about high value vulnerability; use it.
Part of being open is being brave enough to share or show your fears about sex and dating with him. Part of sharing your high value vulnerability is being ok with being human; and sharing that. Women misunderstand men when they think they just want sex.
Especially when a man has chosen to commit to being in a monogamous, committed relationship — sex is especially not the only thing he wants. Trust is sexually inspiring, it is a turn on — especially when the woman is sexually open to her man. Imagine this… Imagine this…a man who inherited a lot of money, and because of his financial status, knows every pimp and has round the clock access to all the prostitutes in his city; but when you see him out with the women, none of them are particularly happy around him; they are just hanging out with him, and are sexually available to him, that is all.
Versus a man from the suburbs who has nothing — no car, no money, but who shows up at the same bar that the first man frequents, and within an hour, he has 3 women around him open and happy, laughing and enjoying their time with him because he is entertaining and funny. This is also to remind us that a man can buy sex. By being an open and responsive woman — you are not only upping your own value; you are encouraging a man to up his. You are doing a brave thing for the world; and for the evolution of men and women.
Of course, the onus can fall on men as well — the less present a man is willing to be for you, the less open you are to him — it works both ways. Why else is sex not the only thing men want in a relationship? We are never fully satisfied for long. So of course, a man wants more than just sex in a committed relationship. And, those men who spend time just chasing sex — often get to a place where they are over it. They simply get over the novelty and are ready for something deeper.
So why do men want openness and surrender? Because it is sexually attractive, and it makes him feel safe that a woman is trustworthy and faithful. Never forget though, for a man to become more trustworthy, you sometimes have to step in first and show your willingness to trust him. But do men really want to deal with a deep, emotional woman?
Well, every man has within him the capacity to deal with an emotional and deep woman. I believe all men have the ability to recognise a deeply radiant woman. Some will reject a woman like that.
Many men will rather sit and watch tv than deal with a woman like that. This is what lazy men are like. I am not trying to tell you every man is going to respond well to your openness and depth — depth is a gift you give to the people who can handle it, and who are ready for it.
Certainly not every man is ready for it. Just like not every woman is ready for a deep man or a man to lovingly direct her life. But the message I want to send is this: Openness is also responsiveness — and responsiveness inspires commitment. Not every man has that depth though.
We only get this one life. So what does all this mean in your life? It means that you could inquire into the possibility that men want something deeper than just sex.
It means that your value is endless — for the rest of your life. You can stop thinking make up and looking pretty is the answer. You no longer have to give sex to please a man. Share your bodily emotions — instead of becoming preoccupied with your feeling of being pressured to have sex: Also, when you do feel pressure, figure out where that feeling of being pressured is coming from. Is it from your own way of seeing men?
Men rely on you to control the ease of which you have sex with them. You may keep the gifts, but ultimately, do they mean anything to you? They mean nothing — because he threw his money at you for his own feeling of self worth, and you did nothing to earn his affections.
The alive one who men really fall in love with? Do you wish to have better understanding of men? Take our Understanding Men program, click here for more information.