Though you were hot for him and curious about what getting in the sack would be like, you made a conscious effort to get to know him and trust him first. Except…after you slept together for the first time, he grew distant. Maybe he started taking longer to reply to your texts…or ghosted altogether. Why do men lose interest after sex?
What did you do wrong? You might be hurt and start to build a giant wall around your heart, brick by brick. You must protect yourself. In this video, I am going to lay it all out there for you so that you understand why this happens.
We can sit around and argue about football statistics for hours… We can focus intently on a video game for weeks, only coming up to eat and shower…well, eat, anyway.
You bud, Adam PS: Click here to learn how to make a man invest his heart in you by following the Emotional Attraction Formula. Stop wracking your brain as to what you did to make this guy pull away after you gave it up. Remember me talking about that reptilian brain? The best you can do is understand some of the reasons they back off after having sex with you, and figure out how best to respond.
That might happen in their 20s… Or 30s… Or 50s. Guys who let that reptilian brain lead will work hard to win your heart, schmooze you, and get you to open up to them.
The thrill of the chase is gone. For some men, sex boosts their self esteem. I mean, what could give a man more of an ego boost than a scantily-clad woman who wants to get frisky with him? That means multiple partners for him, and lots of heartbreak for you. And still others guys have sex to feel they have control over others.
All that being said, what can you do about the guy who only wants sex from you? Look for the signs before jumping in bed with a new paramour. If he only texts late at night or gives no effort to make plans that involve being outside of his home, take note of that.
If he encourages you to drink more than you normally would on a date, push back. Maybe this guy had every intention of becoming your boyfriend. He thought he was falling for you in the early days…then you had sex. Or that you have nothing in common. That was great Jen…uh, Jamie…uh, Jessica? Sometimes we can be blinded by lust and think we know people better than we really do early on.
The buildup to the first time you have sex can be mind-blowing sometimes more than the sex; see 3. In this case, my best advice to you is to take things slow from the start. Yes, you may be hungry like a wolf for him, but waiting will only make it that much sweeter when you do have sex. That buildup I was just talking about had you so sure the sex would be toe-tingling and hair-raising. Like in a rom-com, you were left staring at the ceiling, wondering what went wrong.
Maybe he finished quickly…but left you still wanting more. Not everyone is sexually compatible. Now, all this being said, it can be hard to judge sexual compatibility after just one session.
One or both of you might be nervous. If he seems uninterested in trying again, open up the dialogue to get him curious about how much better the next time will be. Did you like it when I did [insert sexy move here] last night? I got really turned on when you [insert sexy move here]. It could be fun to try [insert sexy move here]. Better to cut your losses and move on than to waste time on the wrong guy. So, you might feel more attached to a guy after sleeping with him.
You might be giving off signs that you want more than just a bootie call. Tell him you like things being casual like they are. If you think about it, many — if not most — relationships you have in your life are just meant to last a very short period of time. There are, in fact, stages of a relationship: So expecting a new fling to turn into a long and fulfilling relationship? Well, the chances are slim.
A million little factors need to line up. In order for a relationship to last, you need to survive so many levels of compatibility: So many things need to click for two people to really have something for the long haul. A lot of times men will just back off because having sex somehow opens their eyes to understanding that this is not what they want.
Take it to mean that he got the message first that you two are not meant to be. Guess which will net better results. You have to find a needle in the haystack. Dating is all about getting to know more people so that you figure out what you want in a guy and then find him when the time is right and the stars align.
Consider how things are outside of the bedroom. Do you enjoy spending time with him? Do you look forward to seeing him? If the answer to these questions is no, you might be trying to force a relationship where there is none. Want more for yourself. A happy and healthy relationship has both amazing sex and wonderful quality time.
Men will climb over mountains for sex sometimes. With power comes great responsibility. Sex can be a healthy component of a balanced relationship, but it should never be used as a tool.
Men know the power that women yield over them. Know what you want from a relationship, and from sex, my Confident Lady.