The Question I waited two months to have sex with my boyfriend. I wanted to build the relationship before going into the bedroom, so I took it very slow. But now we've been sleeping together for a few weeks, and the sex is bad — really bad. Can sex get better, or should I turn tail and run? Story continues below advertisement The Answer Short answer?
I'm a huge proponent of sticktuitiveness: Fake it 'til you make it, I say. From the downward dog to parallel parking, practice makes perfect.
But sex is a completely different beast: It's either something or it's nothing. Run fast and far — but with the caveat that you and I agree on the definition of bad sex. We're not talking the first time because let's face it, almost anything can happen in that first mattress dance. And I hope it's not for lack of communication — no "he goes left when he should go right" nonsense. If that's the case, tell him to go right, gently. No, I'm trusting when you say bad sex it's a matter of mismatched, chemistry: Do not resuscitate, do not pass go.
Of course sex can get better — become mind-blowing even — over time, but in the first two weeks of sex, after two months of build-up, you should be just barely resisting the urge to tear off your clothes in public. David McKenzie, on his hands-free cellphone as he drives through Vancouver. I called an expert, and in doing so clearly inflicted some road rage.
McKenzie, doesn't happen in a number of weeks, no matter how big the, uh, carrot. Shouldn't the spark — the instant you touch — be a fire? I can hear him white-knuckling the wheel. He says there's "some scientific evidence" to support the presence of chemistry — "that spark you speak of," he chides, "but there's nothing conclusive. He says sex isn't "the be all and end all" of a good relationship, and if you're nuts about him, you have many other reasons to stick around.
To me, however, six months of bad sex will reverberate into all other areas of your relationship. Am I being too kismet-centric? Clearly, you need a third opinion. Twisting her new, engagement ring as she talks, the young paramedic instantly strikes me as an expert on love, lust and lasting relationships. The sex was "literally fire" since the first time. But Alex insists, "even if it sucks after all that time, I'm sure it could get better.
I like that you waited — playing hard to get, as old fashioned as it sounds, drives him nuts — and made him chase you. But it's also a dangerous game. Now you love him, and you're stuck with him. How is it that you waited two months for such a travesty? What happens when you kiss: And did you ever take him on a dance floor for a test drive? I promise never to quote Shakira again, but your hips truly do not lie. Let me give you a glimpse into your ugly future: A very good friend of mine was in your unsatisfied shoes for two very long years.
She fell quickly in love with, let's call him no-game-Gary: But once the clothes came off, she was horrified: The heat wasn't in those sheets, and she had two years of bad sex, like some sort of terrifying urban legend.
That's far too many nights of making confused faces at the ceiling. Get out now, friend — while you're still relatively unhinged and unscathed. Have a sex question?