Barbara Keesling a psychologist and sexual health doctor , it offers lots of concrete advice while encouraging a very healthy view of female self-esteem and sexuality. Through a series of clearly structured chapters and numerous exercises, this book will help any woman who is feeling shy, repressed, ashamed, or in any way negative about Although it is probably not something I would have thought to pick up on my own, I read this book on a recommendation and am very glad that I did!
Through a series of clearly structured chapters and numerous exercises, this book will help any woman who is feeling shy, repressed, ashamed, or in any way negative about sex even if only a little bit.
Keesling repeatedly emphasizes that sex is a positive value in life, and that it is healthy and right for women as well as men to want to have lots of spectacular sex. She defines a "Good Girl" as any woman who has absorbed any idea along the lines of "It's not okay for me to like sex," "I shouldn't be too into sex," "If I enjoy sex too much that makes me slutty," "I have to hold back during sex," or "It doesn't matter if I'm not enjoying sex as much as my partner.
Keesling then defines a "Bad Girl" not as someone who is unhealthy about sex in any way, but as a confident woman who knows how to show herself off, enjoys sex, knows what she wants from sex, and is in no way ashamed of any of that. This positive attitude toward sex and female sexuality appealed to me a lot. Another thing I liked about the book was that many of the chapters and many of the exercises were about more than just what goes on in the bedroom.
There is advice for walking, speaking, dressing and acting more confidently and sexily, with exercises to help you achieve those goals. I especially appreciated the reminder that there are many simple, easy ways to pamper yourself, and to have some sensuality in your life every day, which is both nice in and of itself, and very helpful for relieving some chronic stress.
There are also exercises designed to help you become more familiar and comfortable with your body in a sexual context. The book ends with several chapters devoted specifically to sex, with exercises to help you be more confident about sex, and also for getting more pleasure from sex either on your own or with a partner. Here, too, I believe the mindset that Dr.
Keesling encourages is very healthy, with an emphasis on not only the physical aspects of sex, but also on being able to think and speak openly about it as well. While overall I found the exercises to be very helpful, I will say that I did not actually do all of them some, especially the ones relating to how you walk and how you speak, need a friend and a video camera to be carried out fully , but I did find that even just thinking about them was beneficial.
I would say that the book is most helpful if all the exercises are given at least some consideration, but that there is a lot to be gained even if you pick and choose which exercises seem most relevant or useful to you. I think that I would recommend this book to just about any woman regardless of sexual orientation, and whether single or in a relationship , because I think that anyone could find something new or helpful to think about or try, and because the book promotes such a good, healthy attitude about sex in general.
I would absolutely recommend it to any woman who feels in any way shy or repressed about herself or her body, because as I mentioned above, I think this book has some good advice for feeling more confident about yourself generally, as well as sexually.
All in all, I enjoyed this book and learned a lot from it, and have definitely returned to it several times for reminders about specific exercises or pieces of advice. I carted it to college and back every semester , then moved it through three different apartments. It's full of "exercises", ranging from the are you kidding me?! If you can get past the oddly juvenile tone, This book had been sitting around since my friend bought it for me as a senior in high school.
If you can get past the oddly juvenile tone, chapter 8 alone is worth it. Ignore all the rest. I don't think a book can provide you with self esteem, especially not this one.
Encouragement yes, self appreciation, no. Perhaps this book would suit a 20 year old virgin before her wedding night. It was somewhat entertaining to read through, I giggled a few times!