Do men associate sex with emotion. Why are women more emotional about sex than men?.



Do men associate sex with emotion

Do men associate sex with emotion

Here are some examples: Dylan wants sex when he feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Dylan, like most people, wants to be held when he is sad. In fact, the need to be held when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains. He believes it is weak to let someone know that he feels lonely and wants company. Alternatively, he thinks it is acceptable to find and ask for sex, which satisfies his need for human connection.

Sexual excitement is a core emotion. Sexual excitement is often physically felt as sensations in the groin area with an impulse to seek orgasmic release.

Sadness, anxiety , loneliness, anger, and fear are other emotions that can combine with sexual excitement. The mashup of the tender emotions with sexual excitement is the brilliant way the mind can make sure core human needs are met in consciously covert yet culturally acceptable ways.

Mental health is improved by being in touch with the full range of our core emotions. Therefore, it is in our best interest to know which core emotions are present and driving our desire for sex.

Is it pure sexual excitement? Is it a need for comfort? Is it a need for connection? If men and boys could own the full range of their emotions, not just anger and sexual excitement, we would see trends in depression and anxiety decrease. When we block our core emotions sadness, fear, anger and needs for intimacy love, companionship, sharing of feelings, closeness men and women develop symptoms including anxiety, shame, and depression.

Symptoms go away when we become reacquainted with our core emotions. This first step to wellness comes from understanding that it is normal for both men and women to experience sadness, fear, love, anger, and longing for connection both sexual and through talking about our thoughts and feelings with each other.

Emotions are not for the weak, they are for the human. Although things are slowly changing, the two main emotions that are most acceptable for men to display are still sexual excitement and anger. So it is not surprising that the tender emotions, which have to be expressed in some way, get bound to sexuality. In fact, channeling needs for comfort and soothing into sex is actually a clever compromise. After all, during sex men can unabashedly get held, stroked, kissed, hugged, and loved up all under the acceptable guise of a very manly act — that of sexual prowess.

But we can do better by helping to change the culture of masculinity so it is in sync with our biology. Know that humans are complex creatures. We all have weak and strong parts. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor.

She has published articles in The New York Times and professional journals. She lives in New York City. For more information and free resources for mental health visit:

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How MEN have SEX with no feelings



Do men associate sex with emotion

Here are some examples: Dylan wants sex when he feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Dylan, like most people, wants to be held when he is sad. In fact, the need to be held when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains. He believes it is weak to let someone know that he feels lonely and wants company.

Alternatively, he thinks it is acceptable to find and ask for sex, which satisfies his need for human connection. Sexual excitement is a core emotion. Sexual excitement is often physically felt as sensations in the groin area with an impulse to seek orgasmic release.

Sadness, anxiety , loneliness, anger, and fear are other emotions that can combine with sexual excitement. The mashup of the tender emotions with sexual excitement is the brilliant way the mind can make sure core human needs are met in consciously covert yet culturally acceptable ways.

Mental health is improved by being in touch with the full range of our core emotions. Therefore, it is in our best interest to know which core emotions are present and driving our desire for sex. Is it pure sexual excitement? Is it a need for comfort? Is it a need for connection? If men and boys could own the full range of their emotions, not just anger and sexual excitement, we would see trends in depression and anxiety decrease.

When we block our core emotions sadness, fear, anger and needs for intimacy love, companionship, sharing of feelings, closeness men and women develop symptoms including anxiety, shame, and depression.

Symptoms go away when we become reacquainted with our core emotions. This first step to wellness comes from understanding that it is normal for both men and women to experience sadness, fear, love, anger, and longing for connection both sexual and through talking about our thoughts and feelings with each other. Emotions are not for the weak, they are for the human. Although things are slowly changing, the two main emotions that are most acceptable for men to display are still sexual excitement and anger.

So it is not surprising that the tender emotions, which have to be expressed in some way, get bound to sexuality. In fact, channeling needs for comfort and soothing into sex is actually a clever compromise.

After all, during sex men can unabashedly get held, stroked, kissed, hugged, and loved up all under the acceptable guise of a very manly act — that of sexual prowess. But we can do better by helping to change the culture of masculinity so it is in sync with our biology. Know that humans are complex creatures. We all have weak and strong parts. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times and professional journals.

She lives in New York City. For more information and free resources for mental health visit:

Do men associate sex with emotion

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3 Comments

  1. Marty craves sex when he is anxious. But we can do better by helping to change the culture of masculinity so it is in sync with our biology.

  2. Sometimes don't know even exists within. Steve Harvey and his radio co-host Shirley Strawberry acted out the differences between men and women's first-time sexual experiences: On the last season of Girls, Hannah goes to surf school and hooks up with one of the instructors.

  3. Is it a need for comfort? And for an adult man, seeing his wife or partner coming out of the shower naked causes his body to react. What I do call is

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