Click a button to go to a popular page on this site: Questions from parents This page contains questions which have been asked by parents. If printing 2-sided, use the setting "flip on short edge" under Options. Simply click on the link and print and fold for the confused young person in your life. I am a mother of a 9 year old little girl. She has recently brought to my attention that when she watches movies with any type of kissing, hugging, etc.
She also stated she didn't know why, but she felt the urge to touch herself when she has these feelings. I tried very hard to remain calm and explain to her that the tingling sensations are quite normal and everybody gets them sooner or later.
Needless to say she was so thrilled with my understanding, that she told me she was so excited she could talk to me about this and I didn't get mad, that she was gonna tell me everything from now on.
I accidentally walked in on her in the bathtub the other night to find her stretched out in the tub, relaxing and the water jetting from the faucet was hitting her vulva. When she realized I had seen what she was doing she simply just grinned at me and stated, "This feels great, Mom! You should try it sometime!
This is my little girl and I do not know what to say or do about this situation. I have always tried to be very open with my kids about sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. She is a middle child daughter 11 and a son 5 , and neither of my other children as far as I know have even thought about this. I think I am most afraid that experiencing these types of feelings at this age will make her want to have sex with a boy at a young age.
To my knowledge I do not think she has reached the stage of orgasm, but at this rate I fear it won't be long. This is not a problem in public or anything she talks about in front of the other children.
She acts like it is this big secret "just between us girls. I know it is a very normal thing. I even masturbated when I was a kid, but it was not something I told my mother about. I think you're already doing a good job being open about it and not judgmental to her, at least.
I don't think her behavior is anything to worry about or even all that unusual. A sizeable number of both boys and girls engage in prepubescent masturbation. The difference in your daughter is that she's open about it. I don't know that early masturbation leads to early sexual experimentation. We definitely know that a lack of sex education leads to early sexual experimentation, so I suggest you explain to your daughter what masturbation is in the larger context of sexual behavior, and soon.
And it might be time to give her more privacy in the bathroom. My 12 year old son has become very interested in internet porn. However, as the type of pictures available on-line can be quite extreme, I'm going to cut him off from that source of visual material.
Now, I have absolutely no problem with his masturbating, so I think I'd like to guide him toward less extreme visual material. Should I buy him relatively innocuous magazines like Playboy - or even let him pick out what he likes with guidance, of course? I haven't broached the issue with him as yet I'm sure it will be difficult for us both but he seems to be a lot more intensely interested in porn than I was at his age, so my own experience may not be that helpful in judging what's right for him.
As I see them, the issues are these: On the other hand, I certainly do not want to appear to be implying to him that I approve of the objectification of women sex as object, rather than part of love by approving more placid pornography.
My sense is that he's certainly going to masturbate as much as he wants and neither my wife or I want to make him feel guilty about it but that he will, somehow, seek out the materials he wants - so it's better to guide him rather than refuse complete access to porn.
What do you think? You're obviously a parent who cares a lot, although your question is a shocking one. I think you're right to cut him off from Internet porn. Are you sure he's actively using it to masturbate or merely curious? I think 12 is definitely too young to be an active consumer of girlie magazines.
My attitude does not stem from prudishness; I think teenage boys are surrounded by enough beautiful girls every day that they should be able to get by on their imaginations until they're at least By getting into erotic material too early, I wonder if they aren't stifling their own mental erotic capabilities. If you want to guide him a little, why not buy some tame magazines as if they're your own and leave them where he's apt to find them? Boys have been digging into their dad's collection for eons.
I recommend Playboy's special editions. These magazines are nothing but tasteful pictures from cover to cover and they don't contain the editorial content or advertising that you probably don't want a 12 year old to see. I recently came upon my 11 year old daughter's diary and I found out she masturbates and it disturbed me a little.
But when she came home and I spoke to her about it, she was ok with it. I told her it was normal and not to be embarrassed about it. This reaction was because I was able to get all of the answers I needed from your website, thanks so much. And shame on you for snooping! I'm a teacher at a day-care center. I have a girl here who masturbates daily during nap times. She'll be lying on her tummy with her skirt lifted up and her hands between her legs and she'll part and then close her legs tightly together in a consistent rhythmic way.
From my observation, this will cease only when I'm close enough to her or when the rhythmic scissoring of her legs ends with a few hard jams with her flexing her bottom and her body shuddering.
She'll then flip back onto her back and lie around. She doesn't seem to sleep during nap times. I checked her privates yesterday when she got off bed to go to the toilet. It was red and her clitoris was swollen and protruding. This was how I came to the conclusion that she indeed has been masturbating. I asked her whether anyone had touched her there before and she said no.
I feel that her fascination with her privates seems a bit too much for her age. Other than nap times, I've observed her touching herself down there on various other occasions and during bathtimes too. She'll sometimes flick her clitoris with her index finger during baths.
Should I bring this matter up to her parents? Or should I let her be? I'm worried and bizarred. You shouldn't be bizarred. Nearly all of the girls who pass through your center will masturbate someday. The girl has two problems. She masturbates in public and she does it prone. While early masturbation by itself should be no cause for concern, no one should masturbate in public. You should either advise the girl's parents or tell the girl personally that what she's doing should only be done in private.
While prone masturbation has not yet been proven to be as detrimental for females as it is for males, this girl's prone appears to be sufficiently brutal that it should be discouraged. It is assuredly not your place to tell a 5 year old about prone masturbation, but you would be helping the girl if you told her parents about this web site.
Thanks for the advice. She seems to be able to climax every time she masturbates and when I checked her privates that day, I noticed her panties were quite wet too. And her clitoris peeked out from under the hood and was round and swollen. I have an eight year old daughter too but her clitoris is flat and all I can see is a slender flab of skin. Are reaching orgasms and being wet during masturbation normal for a female child of her age?
How do I know she had not been or is currently being sexually abused or molested at home or outside the center? Her flicking of her clitoris with her index finger while she's seated or standing with legs apart worries me. Could it have been that someone has done that to her and she's doing so now? She allows boys to touch her privates too when they see her doing so and proceed to touch her. I've punished the boys for the act.
These boys are always up to mischief and I've observed a couple of them lying on their tummies and playing with their penises too. I'm not too alarmed by this as it's common sight to see young boys handling their privates. I'm more worried about the girl.
You should be concerned about protecting the other children from seeing her public masturbation. You have already asked the girl if someone's touched her. Your daughter's is different because she doesn't masturbate, at least that way.
I've heard many cases of young girls masturbating to orgasm and getting wet before puberty. I don't know how you can find out about molestation unless you bring it to the attention of the parents in some way. I am the father of a young girl of 20 months.
My wife and I have studied Christian teachings on marriage and family and of course we are interested in doing the right thing for our household. Growing up, we did not get a lot of useful info about sex from our parents and we want to do better for our child in this respect as well as in other respects. We want her to be able to ask us anything and for her not to be ashamed of her body but know the difference between private matters and those you share with others.
In thinking about future issues with my daughter, I had this thought.