This is not negative in itself — the important point is to be able to talk these through and find an outcome you are both happy with. You can do this by: You need to state that it is hurtful and disrespectful to be treated in this way. It makes you feel angry and hurt and it distances you from him or her You would like her or him to stop doing this and to talk respectfully about differences.
Once you have done this you need to: Take note of how the other person responds to this See if they are they willing to look at this and own their part Critically find out if they are they open to change If there is no change or if they dismiss, deny or become very defensive to you then you may need to re-assess whether you want to continue dating. If you are in a permanent relationship you should consider getting some support to deal with these issues. Healthy relationships are constructed in stages.
These stages may develop as follows: A new friendship or relationship: When someone new comes into your life — its very exciting! At the beginning of a relationship however, you need to spend time getting to know that person.
At this stage it is good to: Be interested in them: Ask them questions about themselves listen carefully to their answers and respond to them. Be positive and upbeat about what they share! Learn about their hopes and dreams: Find out where they want to go in life and what plans they might have for their future.
Be honest about yourself: Try not to pretend to be something you are not. Do what you say and stick to arrangements — even if something better e. Once a solid relationship has been established, you can get to know the other person at a deeper level. This could mean you are able to: Be there for encouragement and support when they need it: Learn what is going on in their life and support them when they need it — for example with a new job interview or a difficult meeting with their boss.
Look for support yourself: Be vulnerable — let your date know if you are feeling anxious or stressed. Notice if you are doing all the giving or all the taking: This is important, if you are doing all the listening or all the paying then you need to get the balance back — and the same the other way round. It is easy to loose some healthy boundaries when you feel passionately attracted to someone. Get to know what they want out of life: If you are planning a long term relationship with your date you need to find out what they want out of life.
For example if they plan to move abroad in the next year you need to consider if this fits in with your life. Relationships with partners can grow to be much more intimate. In these relationships it is important and appropriate that both people are: There to give comfort in trials: They can rely on you and you on them to stand closely by and give special support through difficulties and heartaches — for example redundancy or a sick parent.
Sensitive to the traits the other person may need to work through: We become aware of weaknesses, issues and problems in the other person that have arisen in the relationship so far. We also need to think through whether these are weaknesses we can live with or not.
Some weaknesses are more serious than others. For example an addictive problem is different to being messy. Serious issues need to be faced and addressed before the relationship becomes permanent. Aware of the areas which that we ourselves need to work on: As with our partners we ourselves may have issues that need help.
For serious problems such as addiction to drugs or alcohol we need to seek support and accountability. No matter how much we are drawn to another person it is important that we face ourselves first.
Any problems outside a relationship will only be magnified inside it. However, if our partner is putting a lot of pressure on us to change — for example changing our religion, dress sense or general purpose in life — we need to check if that is right for us. Not only within ourselves but draw on other friendships to seek their advice and support. Being in a relationship does not mean we give up our own views, thoughts and values.
Committed to being loyal whilst setting boundaries: If the relationship begins to have a sense of permanence then you may wish to openly state that the relationship is now exclusive and that you consider each other in plans for the future. Dating then can be a kind of dress rehearsal for something more permanent in the future. Each stage of the dating game is very important! Some of these ideas and many more!
Do introduce to your new partner to your friends? If not do you know why? What attributes to you indicate your date is trustworthy? Do you find it easy to confront issues when they arise? Do you over look serious issues that your date may be struggling with? If you are dating right now do you know where your relationship is in terms of the stages?