Why are British girls so fat? This week I have eaten cod and chorizo stew, smoked chicken risotto with spring onion and salad with warmed goats cheese and beetroot. I am happy and fat. I watch them eat their tiny salads for lunch with a curious mix of admiration - for their willpower; envy of their ability to wear skinny jeans; and pity, that weight matters so much to them. I was even fatter as a child and spent my school life mostly alone, reading books and being bullied exhaustingly.
It was a trip my Mum made me take to a wonderful rural nurse when I was 14 that changed everything and led to me losing five stone. I lived my life in long, grey cardigans and Doc Martens. I was trapped in a vicious circle of eating because I was unhappy and being unhappy because I was eating. Sue, that fantastic nurse, saved my life really. Well certainly my sanity.
She taught me about where all the calories hide and how to feel full. I cut back on portions, took to chewing gum and drinking diet drinks and slowly emerged from my self imposed cocoon. This was also the time I hit puberty hard, discovered hair highlights and stopped needing to wear glasses. Looking back it must have been quite the transformation, though I had no idea at the time.
I understand how to dress my various lumps and bumps and when properly dolled up, I know that I can look as good as girls half my size.
I bloody love my food though. I eat at the weekends to celebrate that we got to a Friday and the children are safely and happily tucked up in bed. It is at this point in proceedings that I then realise my female friends have simply had a main, and not even finished that. I just feel for sorry for my pals because they missed out. In the light of my obesity revelation will I lose weight? Yes, definitely a bit. I want to be healthier and it would be nice to wear clothes that are fashionable rather than just flattering.
But will it make me any happier? Moreover part of my weight is an extension of who I am. However, being my size does mean that there may be a few things I miss out on. Susanne Courtney works in radio and tweets here.